Okay, so since I first started this blog, I have had a lot of babysitting jobs. Most of my kids aren't stubborn, or have regular behavioral issues. When they do, though, I have discovered that I need to go "beyond the corner" when it comes to consequences. I'll be posting a lot of these!
All About the Corner
When you were six, would pouting in the corner for five or ten minutes make you learn that that type of behavior is unacceptable? Would you really be thinking about what you did and why it was wrong to do it, or would you be thinking about how much longer you have to stand there, bored to tears? I know the corner didn't usually make me think or realize anything at all besides the fact that I really didn't want to be there, but most of the time, it didn't really act as a reminder when I was acting up. The corner just wasn't the solution back then.
Now, don't be taking any of this the wrong way or anything. I mean, the corner just isn't for some kids. I used to be one of them. If the corner is currently working for you, then that's great. If the behavior continues, though, and all you see over there is fidgeting and eye-rolling during that time-out, it may not be the proper solution for the kid. Again, time-outs like this one, for example, are great for kids... when they work. But again, if the issues proceed after the time-out, you may as well just be letting them run around doing what they were punished for in the first place. Sometimes they just don't work, you know? So these are some solutions I have come up with:
Consequence Sheets
Okay, so realization of what the child is doing, why they shouldn't be doing it, and what they could do in place of their poor decisions are all things that are important for you and the child to know. That's why I have come up with these sheets.
The sheets are actually a lot more useful than they may sound. They have four questions on them about what mistake (I don't use the word naughty on them... one of the questions, for example, is "I made a mistake today. I:...) they made, why they did it, why they should not have done it, and what they could do instead next time a similar situation occurs. The last question also could be used as a great reminder later on, if they start acting up again.
Ex: Addison, what did we say we were going to do next time, instead of hitting Aron?
Or,
Ex: Nicholas, I thought we agreed that we were going to calmly tell Addy to stop whenever she is bothering you, and then tell me if she won't.
I use these a lot as a different type of time-out. They are more like a "cool-down" instead of something they see as a negative activity. They will chill out for awhile, filling out the sheet in a quiet place, away from the whole situation. Time-outs are supposed to be a time where they can do just that (without the sheet of course), but usually they stand there, pouting angrily about how they got themselves in there in the first place, and they come back even more upset with you, the person that put them there. They don't realize that it was their actions that resulted in the time-out, but they need to understand that. That's why these help. They cool-down, and comprehend the whole cause and effect of the situation. That's where the whole "Now they understand what will happen if this type of behavior
After these are completed, I have them sit down with me, and have a talk about the sheet and the problem. We go through each and every question together, and we talk about the responses (we just talk if they can't write..). Talking about it is always very important. For example, this just happened today with a sheet I gave out:
I shouldn't have done this because:
I got sedned to the corner to do a sheet
(Yes, that is how she spelt "sent") (:
So, this obviously isn't why she shouldn't have done what she did, and so I needed to talk about other reasons why this was not proper etiquette... no matter if her parents are home or if I am babysitting.
Anyways, so yeah, this can be done as another form of a time out. Just a cool down type of thing so the child isn't workeds up about getting sent to the corner. These have worked graet for me so far, so let me know how they work for you!
P.S.: You really also should put a little letter from you at the bottom(: Here is mine:
Dear, __________________
You made a
mistake today, but I still love you! Please kindly apologize to the person you
upset, and we can try to have better behavior. Remember, just because you made
a mistake does not mean I am angry with you. It just means I want everybody to
be safe and happy when I am with you.
Let’s try to have a better rest of the day!
Your friend,
~Taylor
And here is the whole sheet:
My name is ______________
I made a
mistake today. I,
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I did this because, _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I should not have done this because,
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Next time, instead of
_________________________________, I can
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
I am sorry, and I will apologize to
the person I upset. I agree to take any consequence you may give me. I will try
to have a better rest of the day, and remember to always try to not be a part
of the problem, but a part of the solution!
Signed, ____________________
Dear, __________________
You made a
mistake today, but I still love you! Please kindly apologize to the person you
upset, and we can try to have better behavior. Remember, just because you made
a mistake does not mean I am angry with you. It just means I want everybody to
be safe and happy when I am with you.
Let’s try to have a better rest of the day!
Your friend,
~Taylor
~This font that I used was downloaded onto my computer for personal use only... so make sure you are using it appropriately, too!
Thanks! Let me know how these work out for you! Feel free to comment any questions you may have, and I will create a post about it!
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